Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in linus_le_nuds' LiveJournal:

Saturday, December 31st, 2005
11:29 am	Mom says I stink. Now, does she insist that I stink because she hasn't seen smelled me in a week and therefore has become desensitized to my funk, or because Mema & Pepa & Auntie Francie were ceaselessly feeding me snausages and I was also stressed out from being around my little yappy hamster cousins, Bogey & Bacall? Hmmm. It is a mystery. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 15th, 2005
9:41 pm	Slick like a beery bowling ball Last night, my Mom took a long time getting home. Man, what the hell? We sit here all alone for hours and hours and hours, and all we want is to snuggle, and then Mom takes 20357209 hours to get home from work. And she didn't even have a good excuse, like a flaming car wreck, or flat tire (she gets lots of those), or alien abduction. NOOOOO. She just HAD to stop by Vintage Vinyl on the way home. Feh. So anyway, I was so excited to see her that I was FREAKING! OUT! upon her arrival. I was running in circles and jumping all around the middle family room to express my boundless enthusiasm, and I wanted to jump on the couch to roll around and flip the pillows off with my nose, but the COFFEE TABLE was IN THE WAY, and I JUMPED ON TOP of it and IT IS SLIPPERY, like, WHOA! My Mom was so shocked that she just stood frozen whilst I scrabbled on the surface, trying to gain a foothold. Instead of gaining a foothold, I just shot across the table with paws splayed until I shot off the edge. I was airborne for a minute until I landed headfirst upon the couch cushion, and then proceeded to wag my tail in triumph. However, my Mom was simultaneously super-pissed and in hysterics, which is a funny sight to see. During my slip-n-slide sojourn across the coffee table, I upended a large cup of water, as well as several remote controls and other objects. The water flew EVERYWHERE! My Mom was SO PISSED, but she couldn't stop laughing about my bellyflop/skid across the coffee table. So she said something like, "LINUUUUUUUS *uncontrollable giggling* BAAAAAAAAAD! *more uncontrollable giggling* NOOOOOOO! *still more uncontrollable giggling* NO SLIDING ACROSS THE COFFEE TABLE! *guess what? yep, giggling, uncontrollable at that* LOOK AT ALL THIS WATERRRRRRRR! *uncontrollably giggling to the point of no sound escaping and complete body seizures* GODDAMMIT!!!!!! *stomps off to get paper towels to clean up my mess* (Ha, I'm a dog, I make messes but can't clean them up because I DON'T HAVE HANDS! Take THAT, MOM!) Current Mood: jubilant (Comment on this)
Monday, December 12th, 2005
10:11 am	Rrrrrrrrrr....Rrrrrrrrrr...Rrrrrrrrrr... Mom and Dad had a party on Saturday night. When I wasn't busy pinning people down in lap-whore mode, I almost got stepped on about fifty million times, what the eff? Come on, people, watch where the hell you're going! Shelby kept showing off for everyone which was kind of nice...he left me alone most of the night, except for when people started showing up and he thought he'd show off by swallowing my head. *sigh* That stupid dog, he is SO ANNOYING. One of my nicknames is "Old Lady Bomb." There is this video game called Worms, and mom & dad used to play it all the time. These worms battle each other and throw bombs and fire guns at each other, and one of the "specialty" bombs is a little old lady with a hunchback. She runs around all gimpy whilst making these strange groaning noises until she finally explodes. My parents think I sound a lot like her, so they have nicknamed me Old Lady Bomb, among other things. They think they're soooo funny. Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
3:56 pm	I am Devil Dog, hear me roar. I tried to eat sharkballz's face off the other night. It didn't work. I think I'll have to try it again sometime, but when he least expects it. As the wonderful 80s hair band Great White says, once bitten, twice shy. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
4:06 pm	No One Messes with The Nuds. I gave my brother Shelby a fat lip last night. I was sitting on the couch, trying to snuggle peacefully with Mom, and stupid Shelby came up and tried to butt in, as usual. When I stood my ground, he started biting me all over and nudging me with his big nose. I tolerated it for a little while, but I finally got sick of it, so I grrrrrred. He went nuts, and jumped on top of me! I unleashed the monster and really put the hurt on this time! I wasn't messing around! If he's gonna mess with The Nuds, he's gonna get a tooth in the jaw! Growl. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
1:24 pm	Sigh How come Mom & Dad have to go away all the time? They should stay home with me and my stupid brother, all the time. Mom says I need a haircut, but I look the cutest when my hair gets long and fuzzy. I look like a little teddy bear. My hair never hangs in my eyes either, but Shelby's does. Lucy had the same problem. I think Mom should bring home some Frosty Paws. Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
Monday, October 25th, 2004
11:20 am	I wouldn't eat my food this morning when Dad fed me. Shelby tried to finish it off for me, but Mom stopped him. Then she called me, and I came down the steps and sat at my bowl and just looked at her. She hates it when I do that. She cajoled me to eat my food by telling me over and over again to eat my food, Linus, in a really bright, loud, happy voice. She clapped and hopped around, too, and made jaunty "isn't eating fun?" motions with her arms. She also sang a silly song. It went something like this: Liiii-nuuuuus, eat your fooooooooood, Liiiii-nuuuuuus! Ya gotta eat yer food if ya wanna get big and stroooooonnnngggggg! Wait a minnit, you're already really faaaaaat, But ya still gotta eeeeat your fooooood so yer brother don't eat it insteaaaad! Pleeeez eeeat your yummy nummy foooooo-ooo-ooooo-oooooood! I wonder if the neighbors can hear her. I love it when Mom sings to me. This time she inspired me to eat about half of my kibble. She was satisfied. (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 24th, 2004
10:38 pm	Ho Hum I'm sitting here on Mom's lap in front of the 'puter, so I thought I'd update my brand new el-jay. oops, Mom's gotta go potty. Maybe she'll let me go potty, too! Oh boy!! (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2004
5:58 pm	*boing boing boing boing boing* (Comment on this)